Author: Falguni Banerjee of Pinksworth.com
Marriages are made in heaven. So they say… why, then, do marriages break? Why, then, do people fall apart?
Many theories have evolved and revolved around this social institution. The fact is marriages break when people grow … physically, mentally, psychologically and financially. But growth is inevitable. As and when one is exposed to circumstances, he or she is bound to learn and unlearn and thus, grow.
So what is wrong in growing? You would argue ‘nothing’. In my opinion, marriages fail because people forget to hold their partner’s hand and grow together, in tandem. After all, marriage is about ‘US’ and not ‘ME’. Those who fail to understand this concept end up waiting outside the lawyer’s office. This failure explains the increasing number of divorces in a country, where marriage was once considered sacred.
In urban settings, many tie the knot later in age when they meet the guy I call ‘loneliness’. Loneliness’ friend is ‘frustration’. The result could be disastrous. Suddenly, such persons find themselves feeling lost because their partners fail to match steps and ‘grow’.
This theory applies more to those who have burned their hands the first time and remarry at a later age. Such persons are expected to know what exactly they want from their partners and what their aims are. This is, however, not the case. They fail to identify common goals and move together in the same direction. Reason – they fail to analyze their mistakes, make friends with themselves and get rid of loneliness.
A marriage that takes birth from loneliness can never grow. Loneliness hurts the most, when people find their names missing from invitation lists for social gatherings after a publicly-proclaimed separation or divorce.
Irrespective of whether this is your first or second marriage, it is important to identify your aims and make peace with yourself before you set out to find a life partner. Once you have, make sure you walk together towards the setting sun.